


the absence of you is quite loud

by sugarby



Series: Code III [1]
Category: Code Geass
Genre: Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Post-Canon, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22417990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarby/pseuds/sugarby
Summary: Suzaku's head snaps up. Had he heard her right? Intending to turn his head to her, to say 'yes, I want nothing more!', he just misses colliding with the cellphone she's holding out to him, open to a bright screen with a single digit contact. "...I-Is that really...? C.C, are you sure?"It'll mean undoing the zero requiem and forsaking the irreversible sacrifice of a fake death; of going on with his life quietly while the absence of another is too loud to even begin to ignore.(Or Suzaku is comforted by C.C. following the zero requiem).
Relationships: C.C. & Kururugi Suzaku, C.C. & Kururugi Suzaku & Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia, Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia
Series: Code III [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613359
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	the absence of you is quite loud

**Author's Note:**

> A rewritten drabble.

When they have fulfilled their tragic deed to the very bitter end and every treasured aspect of his friendship goes along with the Emperor's departure, 

Suzaku is _heartbroken_. Hollow compared to the spirits he used to carry himself with and dim like a candle. It's so easy for C.C. to drape herself over his back because he doesn't have the energy, nor does he care enough, to oppose it.

He leans forward under her weight and welcomes the shadow that curtains down his face. "When does it stop hurting?"

C.C. considers her answer for a silent moment.

"Who ever said it's meant to?"

Accompanying Suzaku from here on is tied to her part of the zero requiem. As a favour to Lelouch who knew Suzaku wasn't going to cope even when they got the better world they were seeking.

"When we lose something valuable," C.C. includes in a light tone casually used with children to keep them composed and trusting, "We're struck with a great, infinite pain that only numbs as time goes on. It never truly goes away so you have to learn to live regardless."

 _'I have'_ , she thinks bitterly, because her lengthy existence has lead her to meet and influence many people and they have always eventually left her alone.

"Trust me."

Suzaku chuckles dryly, "Trust _you_?"

"Don't be a pain, Suzaku Kururugi."

"It's warranted, you've got to admit. He was always like that too, asking me to trust him when he kept so much to himself _and I did_ because I thought it was right but it's...he's..." Suzaku's hands shakily enclose as he struggles to describe perfectly the soul he knew under many guises.

Hostage. Rival. Friend. Classmate. Soulmate. Emperor. Zero.

Deceitful. Untrustworthy. Cold. Introverted. Reserved.

Ambitious. Emotional. Caring with an outstretched hand and a smile to anyone he had no reason to treat ill.

Lelouch is imagined to be crawling out from his grave and through the dirt, mining his way up and free just to educate Suzaku, just _to to be right_. It's so like him to be quick to correct and clarify the misinformed and the ignorant; to dream and go for something beyond what he could see.

Inspiring. Alluring. Beautiful.

Suzaku laughs and it pains him, "Whenever I thought I caught up and knew what he was really about, he surprised me. He never came with a manual."

C.C. hums, "Lelouch liked to keep a lot of tricks up his sleeves."

"And truths. Especially when it came to how good something or someone made him feel."

Suzaku was always able to perceive when things were hidden and locked away. Lelouch's vulnerability was treated like treason against himself, the most personal parts that made him up seen as liability that could break him piece by piece.

"Lelouch always said you were hard headed, stubborn and naive," C.C.'s hands thread through her long hair hanging over Suzaku to lift his chin and guide him to look right at her, to take her words with complete faith and sincerity, "But that you were also kind and strong to be so hopeful in such a chaotic world."

"Yeah, sounds like him."

"I always thought it was kind of him to say _considering_."

Considering it was _Lelouch_ passing these compliments when he was always blunt and _mercilessly_ so; never sugarcoating an opinion even on a close friend. He valued honesty over plenty yet ironically saved himself countlessly through lies. He was a truth and a false in any situation; a tall, Britannian paradox.

"I was a jerk to him when we met, you know." Suzaku offers as he moves out of her hands. "I picked fights because he was so different but we were both just kids stuck in a meaningless war. He was a kid like me but at the same time, he felt like this whole other world."

Of fancy words, of wiser and maturer perspectives on bigger issues than what most kids back then could comprehend. Plus he was a prince—not so charming as a fairytale would depict but plenty proud and full of pride.

" _Your_ whole other world."

As the fond memories go, the salt pours back onto Suzaku's emotional wound, "...Yeah." 

"Would you like to speak with him?"

Suzaku's head snaps up. Had he heard her right? Intending to turn his head to her, to say ' _yes, I want nothing more!'_ , he just misses colliding with the cellphone she's holding out to him, open to a bright screen with a single digit contact.

"I-Is that really...? C.C, are you _sure_?"

It'll mean undoing the zero requiem and forsaking the irreversible sacrifice of a fake death. Of going on with his life quietly while the absence of another is too loud to even begin to ignore.

But he takes it, the phone in his hands.

He wants to reconnect with his whole other world.


End file.
